The Ant and the Grass Hopper

 Once upon a time there was a grass hopper that loved to sing and dance. He was not too kin on collecting food or other repetitive mindless jobs. While he was singing and dancing, he met an ant that was really bussy picking up a bread crumb and taking it away. he interrupting his song and asked the ant what he was doing. The ant replied that he was collecting food in preparation for the winter. Then, the ant asked, "have you collected enough food for yourself?" "No, I have not collected any food," replied the grass hopper. Then, he added "I have just come up with this new rapping style that combines Samba and Bangra rythms in a very exciting way. I am coming up with this great song!"

The ant told the grass hopper not to be lazy and prepare for the winter. He said that that music stuff was a waste of time that only lazy people took seriously. The grass hopper answer that singing, dancing, and composing was very hard work in itself, and it was very entertaining for the audiences. "Don't you sit down and watch MTV in the summer months?" The ant replied that she was more into country music, so he watched the "country Music Channel. Then, he added, "you should not give excuses. This singing and dancing is not a real job. When the winter comes you will be hungry. What will you do then?"

The Grass hopper said "I'll cross that bridge when I get there!"  Then, he followed the ant with is buggy eyes, as the ant walked away carrying the bread crumb. He muttered to himself " These people think that only a low paid blue collar job or a some minial service job is good for survival. Well, I am going to follow my dreams."

 the days passed and the temperature kept dropping. Different ants kept telling the grass hopper to collect food for the winter. But the grass hopper had a very strong dream to become a popular performer. He wanted to become a rapper. He knew there were risks in what he was doing. But he wanted to pursue his dreams.

One morning, when he woke up, the whole area was covered in snow. There was no grass to eat. The grass hopper looked for grass everywhere, but there was no grass or anything to eat anywhere. By night, the grass hopper went to sleep very hungry. The next morning, the snow cover was even thicker. The grass hopper continued hungry. Days passed, and without food the grass hopper's stomach became numbed. He didn't even feel hunger anymore. But he knew he had to eat or he would die. This could be the end of his dream about being a rapper.

He sat and felt very sorry for himself. At this point, he thought about the ants. "perhaps they were right" he told himself while crying. "What have I done? I don't want to die before I perform in Radio City Hall!" "What about my dreams of going to Vegas and partying with all the groupies?"  Poor grass hopper was really sad and distraught!

The grass hopper decided to ask the ants for food. He got up and walked slowly to the ant hill. As he walked, he remembered all the comments the ants had made. He new they were going to call him lazy, put him down, and abuse him. But he was desperate. The ants were ultra right wing conservatives and didn't believe in taxes or social services. They had passed laws that got rid of food stamps and other social services. During those campaigns they had claimed that those services could be replaced with charity and voluntary work. Therefore, the grass hopper thought he would ask them for some charity in the form of food. This meant he had to beg, instead of simply filling the correct forms.

As he got to the door on the ant hill, the grass hopper felt a knot on his throat. His stomach felt funny, but it was not the hunger that gave him that feeling. It was that he was very nervous and embarrassed about begging. After a long hesitation, he knocked the door.

An ant asked who it was. The grass hopper said it was their frienly musical neighbor. The ant opened the door and the grass hopper started rapping and playing drums on the door. The ant was annoyed by this behavior. He asked what the grass hopper wanted. The grass hopper replied that he would play, dance, and sing for them in exchange for food. He would even perform some country music for them for a few bread crumbs.

The ants unanimously said "No thanks!" in unison. They told him that they much rather watch VH1 than listen to a lazy grass hopper. The grass hopper told them that he had worked just as hard as the guys in VH1 and he was just as good. The difference was that those guys had contracts, while he didn't have a contract yet. But his performance would be even better than the VH1 performance. The ants laughed at him and told him to leave. He asked for any left overs. They refused to give him anything. "You should have thought of this when we were collecting food and you were dancing." But the grass hopper replied that he could entertain them, making their winter more fun. Finally, he appealed to their religion. Won't you give me some charity?" The ants laughed again. "we only give charity to those that deserve it. You are not even a member of our religion! We will give you some bread crumbs if you convert!!! Just say that our God is your Lord."

The grass hopper stayed there thinking for a while. As he was thinking, an ant that was putting wood in the fire burnt his arm a little. This smelled delicious to the grass Hopper. The grass hopper took the ant by the arm and bit it off. It was crunchy and delicious. The grass hopper continued eating it. He looked at another ant and gulped him in a few bites. He continued eating them, until he was not hungry anymore. The ants kept screaming at him not to eat them. But he kept replying that he was very hungry. The ants offered him their food. But he told them that it was too late. "now that I have tried you guys I will never want another food!" Between their complaints, the grass hopper herded them into the food reserves and locked them. Now, he would have enough food for the whole year, a warm house, and all the comforts the ants had before. He thought that Lenin, Fidel Castro, Mao, and Chavez must have felt this way when they took over.

He was very happy.

In another region, some ants were watching VH1. One ant commented "This is disgusting! How can they let that rapping grass hopper eat ants on TV while rapping about how great it is to eat the ants and take their homes over by force. The other ant said that the idea of eating ants while rapping and dancing was spreading very fast amongst the grass hopper population.